the Id of The Vagina Monologues

By: Daniel Patrick Moriarity '14

What would 2 famous psychoanalyst think of The Vagina Monologues? Well lets see...

To whom it may concern,
I am writing to you concerning your recent participation in the outlandish production that was the Vagina Monologues, and in particular the speech that you yourself read. As a whole I feel that this fiasco was an unnecessarily vocal display of the phenomenon of penis envy. You need to know that your desires to stand up on stage speaking about your vaginas is not an act of pride for who you are and your fellow women, it is merely a manifestation of your unconscious desire to be a man and to possess a penis. Perhaps the greatest support of this theory from the Vagina Monologues was your performance of “My Angry Vagina”. My dear Anne, I am sorry to say that the reason why your vagina is so angry is because it is not a penis. In fact, further evidence for other parts of my psychosexual theory of development comes in the wildly inappropriate subject matter and language that pervaded the entire evening. Publicly announcing your desires for sexual relief, especially through intimate contact with another female or masturbation, not to mention the constant use of such terribly despicable slang for your own body, just supports my theory that because none of you have penises, your superegos did not develop, and therefore your morals are lacking. This does not however explain that Josh fellow… I must perform a case study on him.
Sincerely,
Sigmund Freud


To whom it may concern,
I am writing to you to let you know how much I enjoyed your performance in the V-day extravaganza, The Vagina Monologues. This was the first time that I have ever attended this event, but I am sure that it will not be my last. I think that this was a beautiful display of feminine pride, and showed every man out there why they should be jealous of us and what we have. Unlike that egotistical hack Freud, who thinks that all women are morally inferior and desire to obtain a penis, I don’t think there’s any doubt by any of the audience from Friday’s performance that we women know who we are and are damn proud of our vaginas. In fact, I think the organization has put the spotlight on an interesting topic, that maybe it is the men, not the women, who have underdeveloped superegos. After all, if men are the more moral sex, then how is it that they are the ones responsible for all of the domestic violence, assault, genital mutilation, and rape? Obviously no woman would want any of these to happen to her, so that means that the men involved are too blame. Doesn’t sound very morally superior to me… In any case, thank you very much for your participation in this noble performance and I look forward to seeing you next year.
Sincerely,
Karen Horney